To Leave or Not to Leave: Lockdown and the Year Abroad
Charli Foreman
Living abroad, being immersed in the culture and language of a foreign country, is the entire purpose of the Year Abroad, which is why the idea of a virtual Year Abroad, which was floated earlier this year, seemed a ridiculous prospect. Yet having been on my first placement for about two months now, it has become clear that moving abroad, at least at the moment, is not a magical key that unlocks this immersion. The normal activities or clubs through which I might have tried to meet people were either cancelled, or I felt uncomfortable attending due to COVID-19; I didn’t have Italian housemates to converse with; and even though my lectures were in person to begin with, social distancing and masks made it much harder to forge connections. If I went back and counted, I think the amount of actual conversations I had in Italian was somewhere below 10.
I did manage to make it to a socially-distanced protest whilst in Siena!
Photo credit: Erika Rubino
Even so, cultural immersion is about more than just the language. Renting a room and living in Siena did give me a unique opportunity to learn more about Italy, and my trips to museums, churches and towns nearby are amongst the highlights of my Year Abroad (so far..?). However, these opportunities too began to get slimmer as more measures were brought in an hasty attempt to lessen the skyrocketing cases. Soon, I realised that, aside from the technicality that I was in Italy and the occasional exchange with a shop attendant, I was getting about the same amount out of my Year Abroad as I would its virtual counterpart. The only real difference was that I was missing out on the comforts of being at home that the “Virtual Year Abroad” offered.
All the touristy photos I did get to take were, of course, with my mask on! This is from a day trip to San Gimignano.
Credit: Jenny Frost
So, when the UK lockdown was announced and the flight I had initially meant to take home in December was cancelled, returning home sooner than planned seemed the most sensible course of action for me. At first it was a little odd to consider moving back to a country in lockdown from one that was only just bringing in regional measures - but, when I considered that the cases in the two countries were comparable, I decided I would probably feel safer being somewhere with tighter restrictions anyway. On top of that, a total lockdown in Italy seemed inevitable; despite the differences between the two, it was hard not to compare Italy’s regional system to the UK’s, which had only slightly postponed the onset of a second national lockdown. And, for me, the prospect of living through lockdown at home seemed much more pleasant than living through it in my little flat in Siena.
The beautiful city I decided not to spend lockdown in.
Credit: Charli Foreman
Ultimately, it does come down to that ‘for me’. I know I’m lucky to have had the choice of whether to return home, and to have a good home to return to. The point of this article is not to lay some blanket judgement or advice on what students currently on their Year Abroad should do. Even in ‘normal’ times, everyone has a different experience while abroad, and many may read this article and have very little of what I have said resonate with them. Others may empathise with my experience, but have chosen to stay abroad due to factors such as their home situation, how easy travel would be, their placement’s requirements, or financial concerns. Unfortunately, Erasmus still requires students to pay back grants if they are not physically abroad, which makes the decision of what to do during lockdown even more difficult. I was able to pull out of my rental contract in Italy, but I know many will not have that option.
Scenes from my voyage back to England - I’d managed to amass more stuff whilst abroad, so I had an extra bag. Catching two trains and a shuttle to the airport was a tiring experience!
Credit: Charli Forman
However, something I think most MMLers share is a sense of obligation to stick with the Year Abroad, to ‘make the most of it’; a sense that if you go home you’ll be failing in some way. When I was deciding whether to return to the UK as lockdown loomed ahead, I kept coming up against this feeling, even though I knew I would be happier and healthier at home. In a way, I had already felt it as attempts to chat with others in my lectures fell flat and I found myself making precious little use of Italian outside of my classes. Despite the fact I knew I was doing the best that I could, I felt like I should have been doing more, being more like the others in my year who, according to social media, seemed to be having a practically ‘normal’ year.
I was doing the best I could, and I knew that. I also knew that opportunities to interact in Italian were only going to get slimmer as restrictions increased, and soon I would be living a virtual Year Abroad, just not in the most comfortable place I could be doing so. So why did I still have this irrational obligation that told me to stay, because maybe next week I would get ‘better’ at being on my Year Abroad?
Not being abroad means I miss out on the strange spontaneous interactions and events that seemed to happen so often in Siena; this picture shows a vintage car race that passed through the city, which I only found out about the day before!
Credit: Charli Foreman
Perhaps pre-COVID, this sense of obligation would be somewhat positive, pushing us to venture beyond our comfort zones and try all the experiences the Year Abroad offers. Right now, however, all it seems to do is complicate an already difficult year - after all, what’s wrong with wanting to be in your comfort zone when the future is so uncertain and the world is such a scary, precarious place to be? And what’s the point of trying to chase down a ‘normal’ Year Abroad that, in my experience, was impossible to find even when restrictions were most generous?
A final disclaimer: as much as we can try to logically weigh up the various pros and cons of staying abroad versus going home during this second lockdown, it really comes down to personal choice. As such, I have written this article firmly from my perspective and using my experiences, meaning what I have said is hardly an objective view and does not in any way apply to all those who are currently on their Year Abroad.